Creating backdrop, one Seinfeld episode at a time

If you've ever written a finals paper amid back-back-back TBS showings of "An American President," "Back to the Future" and "Sleepless in Seattle," you are familiar with Comfort Views.

A CV is comfortable. It's the show or movie you put on when you're too busy to watch intently but unwilling to let a perfectly good television sit around unused. Whether it's to allay the awkward silence between you and your toddler as he plays with trains or distract you from the malaise of a pending essay test, the CV is always there for you.

Well-made, highly entertaining programs can be great CVs. But so can middling, cliche fare. CV status is in the eye of the beholder — not unlike a newborn baby's cuteness ("He sure does have, um, eyes!) and Miley Cyrus' talent.

Here's a short list of some of my favorite CVs (remember, quality doesn't matter):

Movies

• "Giant" — This classic was the incomparable James Dean's final offering, but more importantly to the CV checklist, it moves more slowly than a 103-year-old hip replacee at a break-dancing competition.
• "A Few Good Men" — The dry humor in this underrated drama will keep you smiling throughout whatever you're trying to concentrate on, yet it won't make your head snap up in shock.
• "Music and Lyrics" — I guess I have to add this one, only because it just came on TBS a few seconds ago as I continue to struggle this through post. This is what I get for writing past midnight.
• "Top Gun" — This is a great CV for a few reasons: 1) General awesomeness. 2) I know every line, so there are no surprises. 3) The various appearances of Sundown — played by Clarence Gilyard Jr. of "Walker Texas Ranger" uh, er, fame — make for built-in work breaks. ("Mav, you could have had him!")
• "Pretty Woman" — My man card just spontaneously combusted. Don't worry, though; my tears put the fire out, so we're good.

Television

• "The King of Queens" — Sit back and allow the angry musings of Jerry Stiller to stir your creative juices.
• "ESPN News" — Sometimes nonfiction is the best medicine. The CV construct gives "boring" new life; somewhere, the creators of "Nova" are smiling.
• "Seinfeld" — Don't be scared off by the hilarious nature of this masterpiece. The everyday conversational script creatives a nice backdrop to, well, everyday stuff. Plus, Kramer's hair is captivating, so that's a plus.
• "The Nanny" — I honestly don't know how this works as a CV, but it does. At least for me. Fran Drescher's voice could and should be used as a precursor to waterboarding. Still, there's something pleasant about the unequivocal certainty that whatever project you're embroiled in isn't distracting you from anything important.
• Local news — I would never, ever recommend local TV news broadcasts to anyone other than nasty dictators, death-row inmates and Colin Cowherd — except when a CV is needed. If you can get past the conjured-up reports, spray-on hair and syrupy banter, you can employ local news the same way elevators utilize muzak.

Comfort Views — the muzak of our lives.