Here are some helpful nuggets I gleaned from my first flight/weekend trip with my Crazy Toddler and without my Less Crazy Wife.
- Getting the puking out of the way on the ride to the airport is a good way to stave off puking on the plane. (Sample size of this study: 1.)
- Arriving at the airport a bit later than expected when you have a small lad in tow is quite helpful. 15 fewer minutes in the gate waiting area was 15 fewer minutes of apologizing to people whose hair had just been pulled.
- Coffee is good.
- Fatigue is bad.
- It's easier to feel like a man when you, your dad and your son are getting dusty, riding tractors and ATVs, discussing machinery, surveying a wood mill, and eating barbecued elk and salmon.
- It's more difficult to feel like a man when you come home to an increasingly yellow lawn, an iPod and wireless throughout the house.
- Grandpas, even tough guys, don't mind a go on the swing set when a grandson's affection is at stake. Digital cameras exist to prove it.
- Tray tables were made to be overturned — especially when stuff resides on them.
- Bags of chips were made to be overturned — especially when a father's sanity is hanging by a thread.
- Airports are made for business travelers, not dad/son tandems. (POP QUIZ: Out of ChilisToo, a gourmet pizza joint and Quiznos, which one is most suited to a toddler's needs? Answer: If forced to pick one, I guess Quiznos, even though a simple meal is $11.46. Shameful selection, if you ask me.)
- The ability to double-team a toddler is vastly underrated. Kudos to those who have to play man-to-man.
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A couple of years ago, we went to Disneyland. I hadn't been since 1996, therefore hadn't yet experienced downtown disney in all its glory (if you haven't been, downtown disney is their "downtown" shopping area, filled with a plethora of stores to buy from, and places to eat). Now, the reason why I was excited for downtown disney, was that they have an ESPN Zone establishment.
ReplyDeleteTotally cool.
Of course, ESPN Zone is located at the back of the area, and so we slowly worked our way down the street; the whole time I'm an excited mess.
Anywho, right before we reach said zone, the boy says he isn't feeling well. And he didn't look all to well either. At the time we were at the three-story tall Build-A-Bear workshop, and there was no way my daughter was leaving it. I, being the loving father/husband that I am, decided to take the boy back to the hotel (via the shuttle), and they could stay and....build a bear. ESPN Zone could wait until tomorrow.
We board the packed shuttle, and the driver starts pulling out of the parking lot, when all of a sudden my son, who is sitting on my lap due to the lack of seating mind you, decides to puke an entire weeks meals all over....me. And it doesn't stop. It was like watching the exorcist again, the only thing missing was his head spinning in a 360 angle.
The best part, save for the passengers moving away from us so quickly you'd have thought one of us had the bubonic plague, was walking through the hotel lobby & hall, with chunks of puked up pizza falling off of me.
That was a long winded story that I thought might be of a simliar nature to the lesson leaned in the first bullet point.
You're welcome.
I'm flattered that you think I'm less crazy than, well, anyone ;)
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you survived without grownup supervision. :) Way to go!
ReplyDeleteNow you know that you can travel with your son without your lovely wife, think of all the possibilities that await.
ReplyDeletecristina
Sounds like a great trip!
ReplyDeleteGreat father son bonding. ;)
They should totally make a kiddie play area in airports, complete with rows and rows of tray tables to overturn! And make the grownups pay admission for their kids (oh, the price of sanity!).
ReplyDeleteSounds like a fun trip! Glad to hear you survived! :D
ReplyDeleteJake, so glad that you lived to tell about it, and you learned something? That's great!
ReplyDeleteOh, how old you've become my friend. I got you a prescription for boniva for your birthday...
ReplyDeleteI like the one about grandpa doing screwy stuff as a matter of principal for the amusement of the grandkids! HAHA. My dad, in his hobbled state, has done things he didn't even do when I was a kid just to prove to the grandkids that he wasn't "old"! HAHA
ReplyDeletejake you are great!glad you had agreat visit with grandpa. Grandkids have a way of turning us to jelly. love you grandma
ReplyDeleteThis was a very funny list of lessons. I also heard it was your birthday the day you wrote this. Sorry I didn't get to read it until now and so comment. Happy birthday (a bit late)! And thanks for th witty bits of wisdom.
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