The month of August tends to do this to me — and the ever-increasing glut of media nonsense makes the situation more dire each year.
You want proof? Last night I dreamed up this 2010 Playtime Performance Preview for my Crazy Toddler:
Key 2009-10 statistics:
- Pieces of plastic food eaten: 14
- Book pages torn: 37
- Balls thrown at Daddy's face: 142
- Half-eaten fruit-bar shards fused to living-room carpet fibers: 1,343 (single-season record)
CT is one of the most electrifying ball kickers/throwers in the game today. His ability to throw a tiny soft football at the same time as kicking one of those irresistible big-box-store bouncy balls has scouts drooling — but still not as much as CT drools.
Weaknesses
Despite extensive instruction, CT has yet to fully grasp the complex toy-to-toybox technique. At times his innate talent carries him to victory in this regard, but he lacks the consistency that all legendary playtime practitioners have displayed.
At some point CT's rugged good looks and paunchy build will no longer be able to offset this shortcoming.
Prediction
CT has enough God-given gifts to take his leisure time to heights never before reached. But it's more likely that his impetuousness, refusal to consistently nap and penchant for spontaneous urine will stop him short of his full potential. It will be a good year of playing and general carrying on for CT, but not an epic one.
Posts
You need to digitize him now, and have a Madden baby contest, where he competes with other toddlers in making messes and pitching fits -- complete with stats!
ReplyDeleteLove it. He has all the makings of world-class kicker or punter, just like mommy wants :)
ReplyDeleteFunny stuff. Sports will do funny things to your mind. I am glad to have a sports nut blogger around.
ReplyDeleteMy son has all the skills to be a terrifying line backer. He's tough and crazy. He has a bit of a mean streak. And he can run the length of the house in 3 seconds.
Finally, Who are your teams? Don't know where you are from. I am a Razorback nut and Cowboys fan in the NFL. Going to the Hogs game on Saturday.