Sure, I continue to listen to these blockheads on the radio every time I drive anywhere in my 1994 Park Avenue (jealous?). But does that mean I have to enjoy listening to it?
The majority of these former athletes and lifelong announcers have become comfortable with a vernacular including these painful go-to lines, among many others:
- "From the standpoint of ..." — At some point a commentator — I'm assuming we have someone like Merril Hoge to thank — must have decided that adding "From the standpoint of [insert description of opinion) before actually stating the opinion makes people sound smarter. Now everyone does it, but NBA "expert" Jalen Rose is far and away the worst of the bunch. By the way ... from the standpoint of Jalen Rose sounding like an uneducated athlete who's trying to sound more intelligent than he is, I think Jalen Rose is an uneducated athlete who's trying to sound more intelligent than he is.
- "When you talk about ... a guy like ... you have to talk about ..." — Maybe I'm thick in the head, but I think when analysts proclaim their points, they don't need to first tell us they're talking about it. Just get the point. Because when you talk about TV and radio personalities prolonging their sentences so they can fill more time and buy more oversized neckties that they'll proceed to tie in that weird way that forms a huge triangle for the knot, you have to talk about guys like Jalen Rose and NFL super-dud Jesse Palmer.
- Further, it would be great to see a committee, comprising analysts and players from various sports, meet several times to decide on a list of phrases that shouls no longer be used in postgame interviews. Mainstays such as "the game of [insert sport]," "the offensive end of the [insert type of playing surface]," the defensive end of the [insert type of playing surface]," "playing our game" and "coming out and playing for four quarters" would have to go. Another caveat is that NBA-players-turned-absymal-TV-sidekicks Charles Barkley and Hubert Davis would not be allowed within 200 feet of the meeting room. That's a deal-breaker.
Of course, if my son can make a bunch of coin as a color commentator, I'll probably embrace all of these overused phrases — from the standpoint of liking something you wouldn't normally like.
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How about "Score the Basketball" or "Score the ball". This one drives me into fits of rage when I hear an NBA announcer use it. What other things might the player be scoring?
ReplyDeleteWith the way some of these players "get around" off the court, it may actually be important to clarify that they're trying to "score the ball." Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteFrom the standpoint of not knowing what I'm talking about, I can only comment on the oversized neckties portion of this article. The sport of wearing an oversized necktie can be both combersome and in the minds eye, rewarding. On the defensive end of the knot, the key is patience. Flip over to the offensive side and your looking at fierce game of cat and mouse. The only way to dominate both sides of the tie is to keep your head in the game. Lets face the facts. Your neck is on the line here. You take your eye of the ball of the knot, and your liable to end up sidelined. But when you really break it down, It's all in the eye of the beholder.
ReplyDeleteNiiiiiiiice, Jimmy
ReplyDelete"every time I drive anywhere in my 1994 Park Avenue (jealous?)."
ReplyDeleteHahaha, well done.
I agree with all these, and I also hate phrases that are obviously designed just to eat up airtime, like saying "the National Football League" three times within 30 seconds. Why?
p.s. my word verification was "dionmime," I suddenly have visions of Deion Sanders and Charlie Chaplin doing some sort of vaudeville act together.