Fine line between melting heart and meltdown

If I die, please tell my story.

OK, in reality my Crazy Toddler's rare yet outrageous tantrums aren't going to end my life (you can't die from frustration, can you? Otherwise there wouldn't be any Chicago Cubs fans left.) But if I end up in the hospital with self-inflicted injuries stemming from repeatedly slamming my head into the wall, please warn the rest of civilization about my son, because:

• A) He's capable of mass destruction during his epic fits of rage.
• B) Based on what they see when CT is around people besides Mom and Dad, many can't even imagine he is capable of the aforementioned tantrums.

I guess this should make me happy in one sense. It's embarrassing dealing with a wild child in public, and luckily CT spares me this most of the time. But on the other hand, no one believes you when you vent about parenthood but all anyone sees is your kid's halo and quiet demeanor.

I wouldn't really mind all this, except that I'm slightly afraid one of these days CT will do some serious damage when everyone least expects it. I wouldn't be surprised to open up the newspaper (you know, one of those archaic bundles of paper featuring current events and comics) and read any or all of these headlines:

• Tike spurs massive playground fight over 'spilt milk'
  Raging youth cries 'milk fall down!' 
• Police: Lack of sleep caused recent toy store fracas
  Postponed nap brings draws cranky kid's ire
• Businessman: Parents responsible for eardrum disaster
  Child's piercing screams damage local man's hearing permanently

I'm not saying my son is unmanageable, but that's because I've seen what he's capable of. I know precisely to reap the benefits of his adorableness and when I need to put on a helmet and protective cup and simply ride out the storm.  If you can't recognize the signs of a pending meltdown, you'll never know what hit you.

All I'm really saying is this: If you meet a child with the letters "CT" tattooed, along with barbed wire, on his biceps, proceed with caution. The subtle different between a two-hour nap and one-hour nap might also be the difference between a delightful game of tag and a metal train to the retina.