Here's what it takes to become an NBA analyst:

Here's what it takes to become an NBA analyst:

• Have no better than a sixth-grade language comprehension level.
• Blindly believe that every NBA player is a "good guy," no matter how they handle themselves on or off the court.
• Extend every sentence with about three or four unneeded, misused words.

Actually, I think that's it. Otherwise how would Chris Broussard at ESPN have a job?

Why so surprised by Nate?

What is it about Nate Robinson that makes his success in tonight's NBA Eastern Conference Finals game 6 so surprising?

Is it the freakish athleticism? He's been arguably the best pound-for-pound athlete in the NBA for several seasons, so it can't be that. He's made enough jaw-dropping plays to prove this.

Is it the sometimes-phenomenal outside shooting? Nate the Great has been a streaky 3-point shooter since his days at the University of Washington. When he's in rhythm, he's about as good as they come from beyond the arc.

Is it his upper-tier intensity? OK, this hasn't always been at the forefront of his game. But when Robinson is put in high-pressure situations — rarely happened in New York — he's an alpha dog. Think Dwight Howard and Vince Carter, except the opposite.

Yeah yeah yeah, this 5-foot-7 jumping bean is a Dunk Contest sideshow who famously defeated Superman himself, Dwight Howard. But earlier tonight, he proved kryptonite works in regulation, too.

Analogy of the day: May 19

College basketball recruiting is like my son during episodes of "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood": Cutthroat with a healthy dollop of disturbing.

A note to Dwight

Note to Dwight: If you're smiling and laughing your butt off when your squad is down by 1 point with less than two minutes left in a playoff game, you're not cut out for this stuff. Go sell insurance.

Sports/Parent Analogy of the Day (May 18):

Sports/Parent Analogy of the Day (May 18):

Papelbon's demise last night reminded me of my toddler son: You can only cheat failure so long before you fall headlong off the ottoman.

Analogy of the Day: May 17

Analogy of the Day, May 17:

Sports-radio opinions are a lot like the precursors to your toddler falling asleep: Based on the whining and yelling, you can always see the end result coming from a mile away.

Does Lebron want to be wanted?

Cheap Trick is full of poo — sort of.

"I want you to want me" is a phrase that applies to many people in a variety of instances. Those who come to mind include undersized high school boys who enjoy chess more than football, recently graduated college students making their first foray into a crippled economy and mid-30s women who've yet to corral Mr. Right.

It's not always fun, though. Despite what 100 percent of media personalities have been saying since Lebron James and his Cleveland Cavaliers unceremoniously exited the NBA playoffs last week, this two-time MVP who's about to be wooed more fervently than Helen Mirren at an AARP convention might not actually "want to be wan

ted." Not this much, at least.

Pundits from TV to radio to newspapers have been drooling over the thought of what lies ahead for King James: rampant wining and dining, luxury travel and over-the-top praise — all courtesy of basketball team owners from coast to coast. Who wouldn't crave such ego-stroking wonderment?

Maybe Lebron.

Not everyone likes being sucked up to from sunup to sundown. It's fake at best and insulting at worst.

Not everyone likes flying from one end of the country to the other, then back again, then back again. Many hate the skies, regardless of the vessel's plushness.

Not everyone enjoys tiny portions at pretentious eateries. Sometimes a $5 regional favorite in the heart of a city's U district is the most comforting choice.

In reality, Lebron probably will enjoy himself immensely. After all, this is the guy who's basically announced his intention to be as filthily rich as possible.

Still, one can't help but wonder if the next few months will actually be frustrating and draining for this royal underachiever. Considering the criticism he's receiving for again failing to win a title, along with the tiring summer that awaits him, I don't envy Lebron.

Sometimes being wanted isn't all it's cracked up to be.